Declarations from the beginning of fall quarter this year —
ZOOT DECLARATIONS (for JFH)
Today, I am the realization that it’s been way too long since I’ve done my declarations. Today, I am the realization of a full day at the coffeeshop, perched on the red velvet couch. Today, I am the realization that no matter how hard I try to break out of it, I am deadline-driven.
I am being a heavy lap-top user. I am being a transplant. I am being a Chinese poet on punk, according to JFH.
I am releasing pantry moths. I am releasing the whining black fat cat that does not belong to me but lives with me in the house. I am releasing NYC desires. I am releasing FOMO, the Fear of Missing Out. I am releasing my hair that I shed and released in the ocean. I am releasing the undone errands still piling up. I am releasing the unfortunate fact that the poetry workshop I am teaching conflicts with grad poetry workshop.
I am creating a music mix of September for 21 other fierce and lovely APIA poets. I am creating the conditions for change in my life.
What I love about my life is that I have over 300 library books in my room and that’s ok. I love synchronicity. I love having hotpot with my family even though it was hot summer. I love reading about the people of paper. I love getting back to my work. I love dreaming up itineraries. I love being reminded what community I come from and how they will support me. I love goodreads. I love my fauxhawk and the swirlies. I love that my music mix creation is making me listen to Jean Grae, Me’Shell, Sheila Chandra, Sparlha Swa, Blue Scholars, Maxwell, Mystic, and From Monuments to Masses. I love that I smuggled a whole gaggle of chapbooks from my spoken word days back to Riverside. I love liner notes. I love the small bird ornament that greets me when I come home. I love that I believe I survived Saturn’s Return. I love getting to know about Riverside Chinatown history. I love planning a field trip for my class. I love slivers and small tastes. I love the feeling of arriving and landing. I love having regular access to a gym again. I love the taste of pumpkin. I love sultry female singers. I love urgent poems. I love bending Mike Atienza’s ear & getting shown his fancy costumes. I love getting away from the rain.
I celebrate and nurture my existence as convener and project-maker, queen of the to-do list. I celebrate and nurture the small voice in me. I celebrate and nurture the intention of change.